Temporarily Out of Commission and Also Ready to Quit (whether I want to or not)

I'm temporarily out of commission. For the past two weeks I've had excruciating back pain in my lower back. I thought nothing of it - besides the fact that it kills, because I'm always in some sort of pain. I have fibromyalgia (was diagnosed with it in 1996) so I'm used to something hurting, but this was bad. But I figured OK, maybe I slept funny or turned funny and did something to it, but it never went away. Then on Wednesday, while the pain stayed in the lower part of the right side of my back, it had also traveled to my pelvic area. Then yesterday it was the left side of my lower back. It was definitely time to go the doctor. But going to the doctor for me is never easy. (a) even though I moved (years ago now) I refuse to switch my primary because he knows my history and pretty much will give me any referral or refill I need no problem and (b) I hate change. So I procrastinate. Plus I hate being that person who has to leave work to go to the doctor.

This morning my co-worker and friend Jenn told me to call him. I figured, nah, if it still feels bad in the morning I'll go to the urgent care hours his office has. But she insisted I do it so I called first thing this morning and got an appointment for this afternoon. So I go. Now normally when I run to the doctor with odd pain, etc... it ends up either being nothing or some weird random thing they can't figure out. (remember, you're talking to the girl here who never had the chicken pox or the flu - knocking on wood now).

Turns out he believes I actually have a kidney infection. He did a full blood workup, urinalysis, etc... Gave me some high-powered antibiotics and sent me on my way. Of course since he's my doctor - he's notorious for this - he gave me a pregnancy test to go with it all. I'm supposed to call first thing tomorrow to get those results before starting the Cipro - just in case. But I know I'm not pregnant and he says he doesn't think I am so it's only precautionary. Then on Monday I have to call him to get the results of everything else.

I'm also running a low-grade fever and frankly haven't felt like myself in easily a week and a half. The good thing about this diagnosis is that I've been instructed to rest and now can do it without feeling guilty - I'm never good with lounging around doing nothing - always feel like there's something else I should be doing.

So that's that.

Oh and then this - where I'm going to need all of your help.

I asked him if he could refill a couple of prescriptions for me while I was there. Specifically my estrogen-free birth control and my migraine medication. He said no problem, then reminded me that I still smoke against his wishes and gave me the lashing of with my migraine history and birth control pills - smoking is a wish for a stroke and that I need to quit - today. (He also went so far as to say that he was only refilling my birth control for two months and will even test my urine for nicotine before giving me a refill two months from now). I had been planning to quit (see my New Year's resolution post). So I told him I bought two boxes of nicoderm patches the other day - only to find out from him that using those is just as bad as smoking. Great. I have an addictive personality - but thankfully this is the only true addition I have (OK that and computer solitaire at night, don't know why but I just can't stop playing). So I emailed Nikki for some advice, got in my car, smoked the last butt I have and now I'm here. I guess basically beginning a smoke-free life. I hate smoking, hate the way it smells, etc.. but there's something about it that keeps me from stopping. I'm going to need a lot of strength to do this and so is everyone around me especially C because I know how irritable I can be.

When I head down to the pharmacy in an hour to pick up my prescriptions I'm planning on buying a bag of lollipops and a ton of gum (although I HATE chewing gum). Hopefully it helps. Right now I'm drinking a glass of wine to see if I can do it without smoking (course I have no choice because I don't have any and have no intention of buying any).

Wish me luck!

(oh and wish me luck on returning the $60 worth of patches and hopefully finding my receipt so I can get my money back!)