Friday, January 26, 2007

Something Else That's Bothering Me

The store where he was taking the class and shot himself. It was the second time in less than five years that a customer killed himself there. The last one, in Dec. 2002 also died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. That man was unlicensed and along in the firing range when he fired the fatal shot, according to the Arlington Advocate

While police suspended the store's license to sell firearms at the time, and also shut down the place last year after it failed an unannounced inspection, the criminal complaint was later dismissed.

Now I'm not here to blame the gun shop or anyone who works there. I just don't understand how something like this could happen. Especially during a gun safety course.

I don't know. For now I'm out of questions.

Just Too Many Questions

There are so many questions with regard to Peter's death. I know when someone takes their own life you can often times find yourself questioning the motivation. Asking why but in the end the only person who can answer the question is no longer with us.

But that isn't stopping me from asking questions. And I'm not alone. A lot of people I've talked to over the past 24 hours are doing the same thing. Did he plan this? Did he intentionally take this course because he knew he was going to end his life? I have to say I can't believe he did. Did he put the gun to his temple in a joking way and accidentally engaged it? We may never know. But I'd like to. I'd like to know what the hell was so terrible that he decided living wasn't an option anymore. I'd like to know what drives people to do something so horrible.

How ofen do you read about people taking their own lives in front of others? Unless they are making a statement. You know - the ones who choose to do it in front of friends, family. But honestly, who would do that in a room full of strangers.

The bullet exited his head and grazed the instructor. That poor man. He is 60 years old, probably has a family and not only was grazed by a bullet, but watched a man end his life. The newspaper account doesn't say whether or not others were in the class. I can only assume they were. Where are these people? What do they know? Do they have Peter's final words? Any type of explanation from him? I can only hope we find out. and we may. The District Attorney's office is investigating so maybe, just maybe his family and friends and all those who knew him well could have some peace.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

With Heavy Heart

There are many things in life I don't understand and those I know that no matter how much I try to make sense of them it will never happen. Suicide is one, if no the biggest, of these issues.

A former co-worker of mine, someone who I had known since the time he was in his mother's womb took his own life last night.

He was 29 years old.

It had been a couple of years since I last saw him. We'd run into him in local sandwich shops after he moved to my area. We both grew up on the South Shore of Boston but later found ourselves living within mile of each other on the North side.

My girlfriend called me earlier this morning, after e-mailing me at work with a cryptic "are you still in the office." She gave me the bad news. Pete shot himself in the head.

For hours I tried to grasp what happened, why and what could lead someone to this type of decision. At that age you really have your whole life ahead of you - I can't begin to think about what may have happened that led him to make such a deadly decision.

I also can't imagine what the pain must be like for his family. Having to bury their youngest child.

I called my former boss Al right after I happened to let him know and so he could tell others. We ended the call with promising each other we would let the other know if we heard anything further.

After going to lunch with my coworkers, and spending a good half hour on the phone with another former co-worker and friend of Pete's, I found a message from Al telling me the local newspaper had a story. I immediately went online and looked it up.

Seeing it in print made it much more real to me and even more devastating. The story said he was in his third day of a gun safety program at a local gun shop. He was with his instructor when he put the gun to his temple and fired. The bullet went through his head and grazed the instructor, who, luck would have it, only suffered minor injuries and did not need hospitalization. Pete fired that fateful shot and died two and a half hours later at a local hospital.

Now many of us are left with lots of tears and are mourning the loss of a co-worker, friend, son and brother. Someone who always had a whole lot of life in him and with whom life simply won't be the same without.

God bless you Pete.

My Poor Nana

So last night I'm driving home from work and my neighbor calls. Nana fell. Apparently she took it upon herself to take out the garbage rather than waiting for anyone to get home and fell down the concrete steps into the garage. The poor thing, she landed face first and nearly broke her nose and has a nasty, now stitched up, gash in her leg. I met her at the ER right after work and she was home about 4 1/2 hours later.

It must really stink to get old and not be able to do things you want done when you want to do them. I understand the not wanting to wait for anyone to come home to handle the garbage bec afterall, who wants to look at it, but to try and do it yourself at that age is so dangerous.

On a lighter note last night and even this morning, despite the injuries she says she's in no pain. I can't for the life of me understand how but am grateful for it. If she was in pain it would be so much worse. The poor thing. She looks all battered, but says she feels fine so that's a blessing.

As far as those stairs go - age probably isn't really an issue for her falling, though certainly - I'm sure - contributed to it. They are VERY steep and there are about five of them. Your's truly here has had her share of tumbles down them at least three times in the past three and a half years. So I can totally understand how it happens.

She's just really lucky she didn't break anything and didn't do any serious harm to herself. I hope she's ok and will leave the garbage to us :-)

Monday, January 22, 2007

The Countdown Is On

The countdown is on - 10 days and counting (check out my ticker - man I love the Internet). So we moved my dining room table this weekend. Funny, bec I use it as a dining room table but it's much better suited as a kitchen table - which is what it will be and is now at the new place. (sooooo much better than the tiny table that was in there before). Now C and I can spread out during coffee and paper time and not be on top of each other :-)

With the table now missing from my apt it's starting to look more and more empty. I'm hoping to get through a bunch of small stuff tonight and move all that into my room of boxes for moving purposes. Although pretty much everything is packed, there are still a few things I need to clean out. The catch-all closet in my main room. (No worries Jenn & Kerri - it's nothing like that other catch-all spot). Basically I haven't been in there since I moved and there isn't much behind the door and what is will all be going into a big trash bag tonight - who knew throwing stuff out could be so much fun!

And other than that - just one more bookcase to take down and box up. Oh, and I have to clear out my old hope chest - which is not going with me. I don't even know whats in there at this point, but I'm sure that will be a joy!

Until tomorrow - everyone keep your fingers crossed that I make some major progress on the rest of this stuff tonight and don't get distracted - which comes very easily to me.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Muddling Through

Oh man, so with the new bedroom and the upstairs finally finished, I can't bring myself to sleep at my soon to be former place. Why sleep on a 15-year-old bed that sags in the middle and whose frame is about to fall apart any minute now when I have brand new luxury to lay my body on each night!

So here I am - it's Friday and although most won't agree with me, I'm less stressed (or so I'm telling myself). There really isn't much left at all to pack at home so that's some good news. C and I are going to find a way to get my five pieces of furniture which are coming over to the house in the next week. And then I'm good. Molly will be set to move in as soon as the furniture is there (can't risk her getting out while trying to move furniture in - that would be a whole other type of stress).

Speaking of Molly, I ordered close to $300 worth of stuff to keep her at bay - or rather, away from things she shouldn't be on. Let's hope they work. I was concerned about her love of playing under the bed and possible damage, but my girlfriend (Jenn thanks!) suggested simply using under the bed for storage to keep her out. Perfect, because I can alway use another place to put clothes :-). I'm hoping to buy some underbed storage boxes tomorrow morning.

Things are shaping up - I have lots more to bring over this weekend, but most of it is already packed and just needs to be transported. (sigh of relief).

I'll get there. The time is coming and then all this will be over!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Here they are!

You asked, here are the photos of the bedroom with the furniture. Last night we bought lamps and curtains. Put the lamps together, the curtains are going up later in the week. Here it is without the curtains. I couldn't be more pleased. I love it!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Cat Training Advice

Does anyone have advice for moving with an "untrained" cat. Not in the litterbox sense but more in the sense that she's pretty much for the past year or so done whatever she pleases and while I was very good at training her when we lived in our last apartment - where she never jumped on the stove or counters and never, EVER scratched at the carpet or woodwork or her latest - the mirror, I need to start over.

She is moving with me in a couple of weeks and I've ordered all sorts of gadgets to keep her from being a nuisance. I got a these "tattle tale" alarms to keep her off the furniture and our bed (C's allergic) and I got this Xmat which I hope by putting in front of the front door will keep her away from it so she doesn't get out.

Any thoughts on these ideas or any I haven't thought of yet?


Well it's finally complete - minus the curtains and the lamps. Though we are heading out tonight to find some for both nightstands. Is it insane I'm thrilled to simply have two nightstands - one for each of us? I can't wait. The bedroom furniture - in it's entirety arrived today. I haven't seen it yet. C was home today waiting for it. I'm dying to see our bedroom all set up and ready to be lived in. Only a couple of more hours and I get to witness it for myself. I'll be back with a full report. And pictures of course!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Good News!

Wow here's some good news - well, at least for me :-)

While I know most cities and towns allow you to toss one "large" furniture item a week curbside, the city of Medford does it one better. Actually more than one. They will take any furniture you put out curbside on your regular trash day! Who knew? This is great because what doesn't get scooped up by friends or donated to Goodwill is going out on the curb. I was just thinking the only people who would pick it up would be neighborhood crawling trash pickers. This is a much better idea!

I Need To Chill

I need to chill. I know. And the first step is admitting the problem right? Let's just say the stress I've been feeling about moving is overwhelming, but after some major soul searching I've realized something - I'm putting most of the pressure on myself.

Everyone who knows me knows I'm a deadline-oriented person. Probably a good thing in my career as an editor, but the older I get the more those other deadlines - the personal life ones - are becoming a problem. I set deadlines for what I'm going to get done every night after work chore-wise. I set deadlines for cleaning, organizing, playing with my cat. It's become seriously compulsive and definitely troublesome and it's taking a toll. A toll on me and everyone surrounding me.

It's my own fault I feel like I'm drowning, because in reality I'm really not. I have no set deadline to move. I can take my time, relatively. It's me who wants everything packed, moved, unpacked and setup in my new place yesterday. It's unrealistic especially since I have a job and other responsibilities on my plate.

That being said I'm going to make a greater effor to be calm (stop laughing, frowning or making funny faces - I'm serious). I'm going to continue on the path I've been on of packing during the week and bringing a truckload of stuff over every weekend. Maybe this weekend I'll do a truck load and a CRV load. That would be progress :-) Wait, there I go again.

My goal is to have Miss Molly and myself settled in the new abode by Feb. 1. That gives me three full weeks. I can do this - that's more time than I had when I moved from Westwood and trust me (if you can believe it) when I moved from there I had at least three times more stuff then this time around.

Everything will be fine. We will be happy. We will be settled and I will be at peace.

Thanks for listening.

Oh and if anyone wants anything at all that I have - let me know now! If no one claims anything by next week - it's going to Goodwill

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Why Is Moving So Stressful?

Tell me, why is moving so stressful to the point that some in the medical profession actually compare it to suffering a death in the family. Seriously, I read this. It should be a joyous time, assuming you aren't being forced to move.

I am very excited about cohabitating. I've waited a long time for this and wish for nothing more (well aside from marriage and children, of course). Not to mention I'll no longer have to spend nights away from my home and live out of my trust overnight bag. I'll be settled, happy, content and no more worries. Yet I'm emotionally stressed out to the core.

I've packed more than 50 percent of my stuff (not including furniture). I've moved more than half of that already. It's not a big deal. The big stuff is done - 4 closets full of clothes with one more to go (shh - don't tell C - not sure if he knows about the one up in the attic).

Tonight I need to make some major headway - Kerri, you'll appreciate this - I'm going to take down all my art and package that up to move, along with all my framed photos (this could take all night!)

We'll see where this leaves me in the morning.

Course my biggest fear is moving Miss Molly, making sure she adjusts well, and doesn't get out of the house in her new neighborhood. I'd be devastated!

Until tomorrow ...

I thought I Was Going to Find Them

So last night I went over to Craig's (wow, in just a couple of week's I will be calling this home) after stopping at my house after work. My mission - to find the jeans. Around 2 p.m. yesterday I thought I had an epiphony. I could have sworn the only other place they could have been would be my J. Jill overnight bag which is now hanging nicely in my new closet. I thought perhaps I had tossed them in there during my moving as a random place to put them so they WOULDN'T get lost. I ran right upstairs when I got home, pulled the shiny red bag from the closet, quickly unzipped it and there in the bottom of the bag - NOTHING but a pink tank top. WTF!!! I'll never find them. Course now I'm on a mission, while I have plenty of stuff left to do before moving, the priority now for me is to find these missing pants. But with everything packed, unpacked and moved I can't imagine for the life of me where they went and now it's consuming my every thought! Hence the 7 a.m. post on this subject.

Monday, January 08, 2007

How Does This Happen?????

Let's explore the mystery of the missing jeans. Not an old favorite pair, but rather a pretty expensive, can't believe I fit into them - perfect "dressy enough for work" pair that I purchased a few months back at Banana Republic.

Now anyone who knows me knows I have WAY too many clothes. Fine, I know this, I've learned to accept it and live with it. Something else anyone who knows me knows is that sometimes when you have that many clothes and are living somewhere where your clothing storage is scarce, often times items temporarily disappear, only to be found again when I'm packing to move - case in point - the cute black Ann Taylor Loft shrug I bought a year ago, lost, and didn't find again until last week when I packed my second to last box of clothes.

Back to the jeans.

So these jeans, which I love, and really want to wear tomorrow for my photo shoot at work are COMPLETELY GONE! My clothes for the first time in three years are totally organized and I can tell you - they aren't at the new house because everything there has been put away or gone through. They aren't in my current place and they're not even in my overnight bag (where lots of items oftentimes disappear at the bottom). Where the hell do favorite garments go? I'll never understand.

If there was only one place left I hadn't looked - then maybe I could find them.


Thursday, January 04, 2007

Bedroom Transformation

Here's a look at the transformation of our master bedroom. From start to finish. Only thing missing - the brand new master bedroom set which arrives a week from Tuesday - YIPPEEEE!!!!!

And the day is almost here

Ok friends, it's been a long time coming, but it looks like my move is imminent. Our bedroom set is being delivered in two weeks which means moving fully is upon me. I know I've been stressing, and I know I really don't have to but I'm really, really looking forward to finally FINALLY being settled in a place I'll be living for a long time to come.

Over the past two weeks I have managed to move the majority of my clothing. Two more closets full are coming this weekend, along with hopefully my china and glassware.

I have to get down to business on everything else. I already spent weeks cleaning out so much junk I couldn't believe where it even all came from. My next step is to box up the items I wanted to continue to be surrounded by until I am sleeping elsewhere, my treasured books and all my photos and other small items which will soon have a new home with more room for display.

Now if I could only get rid of the feeling of panic which again, I know is insane because it's not like I have a deadline to move out. But being a writer and all I've of course given myself a deadline to move in. Occupational hazard I guess.

Any suggestions on how to get this down without any feelings of panic and stress? I'd love to hear them though I hear moving is as stresful as a death. I swear I read that somewhere. No joke!